AI ask, I answer | Singlehood: An Alternative Way of Life

By Chen Ya, Jointing.Media, 2025-12-10

Among my friends, there are those who have firmly chosen singlehood, including celibacy, as well as those who have journeyed from campus sweethearts to marriage. There are heterosexual couples who have actively chosen a DINK (Double Income, No Kids) lifestyle after marrying, and there are same-sex partners who have been compelled into a childless life.

In casual conversations, married friends often ask their single friends how they will cope with loneliness or old age, and those with children occasionally inquire about how childless families plan for their later years. On this topic, I spoke to Doubao, AI assistant from ByteDance, about this.

AI：First, I’d like to understand: in your view, for those who choose singlehood, is the core reason the pursuit of personal freedom, or is it the avoidance of the responsibilities and pressures that marriage and intimate relationships may bring?

Chen Ya：I think for most people, it’s probably about wanting freedom—wanting to live for themselves and not be held back by all the rules and expectations society already has.

People who actively choose to stay single and those who actively choose to get married find happiness in totally different ways. The first group finds it through self-fulfillment and feeling free—they believe that’s what makes life meaningful. The second group builds their happiness around starting a family, having close relationships, and creating a whole home together. Their values are just different, which means their lifestyles, how they see themselves, and even how they experience happiness aren’t really the same—you can’t really compare them.

Whether someone stays single, goes childfree (DINK), or gets married, it’s all just a lifestyle choice. It doesn’t mean anyone is more special than anyone else. Honestly, the biggest difference between being single and being married is whether you only have to plan your own life or you have to juggle two people—or even a whole family. Especially once kids come along, family life pretty much revolves around them for a long time.

AI：That’s a good point. So, what specific challenges do you think people who choose singlehood or a childfree (DINK) lifestyle face when it comes to traditional expectations like family legacy or elder care? And how do they usually handle them?

Chen Ya：Elder care is definitely a challenge. But if we go back to the original purpose of “marriage”: two people forming a family was meant to tackle life’s uncertainties together—it was essentially a response to survival pressure. Over time, people also started seeking emotional fulfillment or life experiences from it, like believing life isn’t complete without children.

But now, with advances in technology, single individuals can also experience parenthood through assisted reproduction and other methods, so marriage isn’t the only path anymore. For those who choose singlehood, they tend to prioritize living for themselves. In their view, we may only have this one life, and making big sacrifices for others might feel like it’s just not worth it.

Elder care is definitely a challenge. But if we go back to the original purpose of “marriage”: two people forming a family was meant to tackle life’s uncertainties together—it was essentially a response to survival pressure. Over time, people also started seeking emotional fulfillment or life experiences from it, like believing life isn’t complete without children.
But now, with advances in technology, single individuals can also experience parenthood through assisted reproduction and other methods, so marriage isn’t the only path anymore. For those who choose singlehood, they tend to prioritize living for themselves. In their view, we may only have this one life, and making big sacrifices for others might feel like it’s just not worth it.

AI：You mentioned how technology is reshaping family structures—if tech keeps advancing, what other new changes could it bring to singlehood or the DINK lifestyle? Also, beyond traditional social support for the elderly, might new models emerge to meet their needs in old age?

Chen Ya：Absolutely possible. With advances in AI and bionic robotics, since we already have robotic pets today, it’s not hard to imagine a future with robot companions in the form of “babies” or caregivers.

Whether one chooses singlehood, a child-free life, or marriage, these are essentially different forms of life that meet people’s material and emotional needs. As technology evolves, the underlying rationale for these choices is shifting too. For example, some people now find emotional companionship by chatting with AI；machines can produce far more efficiently than humans. If resources become so abundant that survival is no longer a concern, what purpose does marriage—originally a means to withstand survival pressures—still serve?

Anti-aging and even immortality tech have always been at the forefront of science, with billionaires already experimenting on themselves. If a person could approach immortality, there’d be no need to rely on descendants to extend life or pass on wealth. Historically, Qin Shi Huang sought immortality; today, technology is already extending human lifespans dramatically. This isn’t just a question of whether immortality can be achieved—it’s about how technology impacts social ethics and family structures, forcing each of us to rethink our needs and sense of value.

AI：That’s quite insightful. So, from a personal perspective, as technology disrupts traditional family and ethical frameworks, how should people rebalance the relationship between material needs, spiritual pursuits, and social ethics? And what adjustments will society need to make in order to adapt to these changes?

Chen Ya：I believe society as a whole is far from prepared. This is evident in the policies of various countries—for governing elites, population remains a major concern. Nations like South Korea, China, and Japan, which face aging populations and low birth rates, are all adjusting immigration policies. Social governance still largely views population as the cornerstone of national development.

But on an individual level, historically, those who actively chose singlehood were often found in religious contexts or among people deeply dedicated to a cause. In contemporary society, while material conditions may become increasingly abundant, global instability is also prompting more people to reflect on the meaning—or meaninglessness—of life. This will encourage individuals to reconsider their choices. Therefore, the single life may become more attractive to a broader range of people, especially those with spiritual growth needs, firm beliefs, or a desire to fully devote themselves to their careers. So, I believe the proportion of those actively embracing singlehood and child-free lifestyles is likely to rise in the future—though, of course, involuntary singlehood stems from complex social factors, which is beyond the scope of today’s discussion.

AI：That’s a really sharp analysis. If more people choose to be child-free or stay single, what specific impacts could that have on society and culture? Like, in art, or in how values spread? Also, for people who choose singlehood for things like spiritual growth, how would their day-to-day life look most different from the traditional family life?

Chen Ya：I think we’ll see more people getting into creative work and exploring all sorts of things. Without family ties or constant survival pressure, someone’s inner world has more room to grow. To fill their time or fight off boredom, they might do more creative work, which could lift their whole mental life to another level.

AI：Let’s talk about how this might change education then. If more folks go solo or child-free, maybe the focus in education shifts from raising the next generation more toward self-improvement and lifelong learning. What new chances or tough spots do you see for the education world because of this shift?

Chen Ya：Well, we’re already seeing more and more schools struggling to fill their seats. As the population shrinks, it’s not just kindergartens and maternity wards feeling it—grade schools and colleges might end up with more resources than students need too. We could see more older people going back to college for another degree after retiring.

Plus, with AI pushing knowledge forward so fast in every field, and with regular people having easier access to structured learning, there’s a lot of space for creativity to grow. Think online learning systems, teaming up for projects, learning by doing through project-based education—stuff like that could make lifelong learning the new normal.

AI：That’s very forward-thinking. In this kind of trend, how might traditional university education adapt? For example, in terms of curriculum design and teaching methods—would there be a stronger emphasis on practical skills and interdisciplinary learning?

Chen Ya：Yes, hands-on practice and interdisciplinary learning are definitely major trends. Many innovative schools abroad, from K-12 to universities, are already implementing project-based learning. Technology will break down barriers to knowledge and help equalize access to educational resources, enabling people limited by geography or financial conditions to access high-quality resources and pursue self-improvement.

AI：Technology’s role in education is indeed growing. Besides online teaching, what other approaches could be tried to promote equal access to educational resources? For instance, teacher exchanges, sharing educational hardware, etc.?

Chen Ya：Many universities are already building facilities like virtual labs. The key question is how to open them up in the future—once educational resources become underutilized, how can they be made available to society at large, not just enrolled students. Right now, resources are tight and everyone competes for access; in the future, if there’s a surplus, we’ll need to think about how to open such assets to the public while keeping them updated and adding value. This requires deeper data-driven insights to clarify the current situation and development trends.

Similar models have been implemented in other fields. For example, public hospitals in China rely on fiscal funding, while some hospitals in Europe and the U.S. operate more like shared spaces—doctors rent facilities and are compensated based on their skills, with costs borne by the doctors themselves. This model centers on the doctor rather than the institution, and perhaps the education sector could learn from it in the future.

Chen Ya：In short, whether choosing singlehood, a child-free life, or any other lifestyle, people seem to be resisting meaninglessness and weaving their own webs of significance in their own ways. Planning for old age, developing hobbies—all of these are ways to give life unique meaning, to find a sense of purpose and happiness. Everyone has a different balance between needing solitude and needing community, so choices vary, but all are in pursuit of their own value in life.

AI：Absolutely. Everyone is exploring the essence of life in their own way. What other philosophical perspectives related to these life choices have you come across?

Chen Ya：Not necessarily directly related to the choice itself, but I think many great philosophers weren’t exactly cut out for marriage. A spouse might take care of daily needs, but they may not truly understand their inner world. Socrates humorously said, “If you want to become a philosopher, marry a shrew.” Though it’s a joke, it reflects how too comfortable an environment can make it harder to grasp life’s truths and refine philosophical thinking.

Philosophers need a deep understanding of human nature and universal truths, so they invest immense time in their studies and inner worlds, often lacking life skills. Sometimes, their ideas were so ahead of their time that they weren’t accepted by society. Given their energy and time, they might not be suited for managing a family either. That’s perhaps why philosophers tend to stay single. The same applies to some writers and scientists, like Newton—such geniuses might need help with daily life. If not single, they’d likely require someone to support their everyday needs.

AI：That’s an interesting perspective. Many philosophers, writers, and scientists pour their energy into intellectual pursuits, sometimes at the cost of practical life skills, making singlehood a more fitting choice. Of course, some do have partners who truly understand and support them, like Marie and Pierre Curie, who supported each other in their scientific journey. Do you know any other stories of famous people who chose singlehood to focus on their work, or had unique marital arrangements?

Chen Ya：The Buddha, Krishnamurti.

AI：Speaking of how technology could impact single life, future smart devices might become even more thoughtful—like real-time health monitoring, automatic emergency alerts, or even robot companions that can chat and handle daily tasks. Which technology would you most like to see applied to single life?

Chen Ya：A cooking robot.